1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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