Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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