I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
