That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize