I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
