He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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