i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
