census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
