Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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