Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
