i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
