I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize