he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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