Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
