just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize