Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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