yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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