I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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