Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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