I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
