direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
