Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
