why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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