Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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