took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Did I show you my penis last night?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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