Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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