he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
either way he was missing a nipple.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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