they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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