dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I look better un-naked...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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