you didnt know i had herpes?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
