i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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