from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
