bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The power of my boobs compel you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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