Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
