things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
