Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
