I cockslap morals
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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