What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
