I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
