I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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