I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize