is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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