She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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