why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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