dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Are my feet made of real feet?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
