I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
