the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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