i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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