is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
