We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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