My liver just broke up with me...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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