I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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