good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
