JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
