Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
