this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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