Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
