google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
