Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sober January is a disaster.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
