"it" just moved
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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