just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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