My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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