she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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