So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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