Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize