she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
